Insider information
by Death writer
Summary: From the inside...
1. Phase one: Getting in

Insider Information

Part one: Operation Absolute Stupidity

YAY!!! Managed to write another one. Characters are not mine except for Blake. He's mine!!!

_An easy job, but the penalty is high…_

Day one

I sat and started at Dumbledore. What he was asking me to do was suicide. To go spy on Voldermort, that's stupid, that's more than stupid. "So will you do it Blake?" I was just out of school. Just finished, top student in everything. Especially in Defence Against the Dark Arts. I looked at Dumbledore. "So you want me to go and join Voldermort and spy on him for you?"

"Yes."

I shrugged. "I'll do it. Could be fun." Dumbledore seemed happy with that. "So…" I said. "Finish this sentence, Operation Absolute Stupidity starts…?"

That was a week ago. Now, I'm in. They put me in the secret headquarters of Voldermort, Afraid I would talk, I grinned happily. They never said how much of a pain I could make myself while I'm doing it. Voldermort wouldn't let me do anything big yet. Couldn't trust me. I smiled; he would never be able to trust me. It was midnight time for phase one of Causing Chaos. I knocked on his door and then took off down the hallway. The door opened and an annoyed Dark Lord wearing ink Pyjamas peered out. I walked past, pretending that I was walking back to my room from the toilet. I stopped dead when I saw the Pyjamas, and started laughing. I got a scowl from him as he went back into the bedroom. I knocked again and ran off. The door opened and he glared out. Seeing no-one, he shut the door. This went on all morning.

In the morning he entered the dining hall; I looked over at him and said casually. "My lord, you look particularly menacing this morning." More scowling. "Would you like some of this?" I asked, handing him a dish of some sort of meat. He grumbled a reply. After he tasted it he asked. "This is pretty good, what is it?"

"Snake." He went pale.

Later that day, all the other Death-Eaters arrived. There was to be some plotting session later that day. During the meeting I sat there and spoke to the 'Eater' next to me, can't remember his name. "Did you know that I taught him everything he knows?" The Death Eater ignored me. "It's true I did." The death Eater glared at me before returning to staring at Voldermort. I looked up at a map that was on the wall. I walked up and pulled it down. Putting a fresh sheet of paper up I said. "Now here is what we gotta do, we are here." I drew a cross on one corner of the sheet of paper.

"We have to get here." Another cross on the paper was drawn. "But there are Stinky Feet here stopping us." In the centre of the paper I drew another cross. "Up here," Another cross on the top of the sheet this time. "Is the  
Unholy Army of the Dead Riding Elephants. Down here." The cross was on the bottom of the page this time. "Are The Cats of Doom. Now, the Cats, Unholy Army and the Stinky Feet are all fighting. They are all going to meet where the Feet are. I drew arrows going from the Cat's and the Unholy Army to the Feet. "Now we can either fight or way through but our weapons don't effect them. Or we can take the longer journey around them all to get to the place. It will take longer but we won't all die in the progress. It'll be as easy as stealing candy from a baby." I stared at Voldermort. "But I have a feeling some of us might find that hardier than others."

I sat down, feeling rather good about the glares everyone was giving me. After lunch, (More snake.) I disappeared from Voldermort's sight for a while. He didn't mind, he enjoyed the piece and quiet. I returned later in the day, running everywhere in the building screaming at the top of my lungs "THE AURORS ARE COMING!!!" That went on for the rest of the day. Now I lay in a bed and listen for the sounds of the present I left in Volder's room.


	2. Phase 2: More snake milord?

Day 2:

I woke up, wondering how well Voldie had slept last night. I could still hear the bewitched book that I had put under his bed. I had done a really good job with it if I might say so myself. It most of the time just snored, but it could do some other things as well. It bit anyone and anything stupid enough to go near it.

At breakfast Voldie stalked in looking very annoyed. "My sir your looking very menacing today." I said with a grin. He glared at me and sat down and started to eat. "Nice snake isn't it?" I asked.

Later on I got an idea of what had happened in Voldie's room. Apparently there had been extremely loud snoring from 9: till 1, a five minute break had come next. Then something under the bed had started to sing 'Henry the 8th I am.' This lasted until morning. Then the snores started again. The culprit turned out to be a book.

I grinned to myself. That had worked well.

After lunch I walked into another meeting. Something big must be happening. "My father was a muggle, and he beat me every day to try to stop me from becoming a wizard…" I listened in the background for a while before going up and hugging him. "It's ok milord." I said while crying. "My muggle father used to beat me to, with a metal pole. I hugged him a little longer before letting him go and walking away crying.

Later on Voldie got very angry because people kept kicking him. I had stuck a piece of paper to his back saying 'Kick me.' I had put a charm on it so that everyone who read it automatically kicked him. I grinned to myself as I watched him get kicked yet again. Then I ran up and hugged him again. He kept walking. I hugged him again. Still nothing. I hugged him again. "Stop That!" I hugged him again. "What Did I Say?" I hugged him again. "Stop!!!!" I hugged him again.

"You know you could ask nicely." I hugged him again.

"Stop it!" I hugged him yet again.

"No." I hugged him again.

"Fine." Another hug. "Can." Hug. "You." Hug. "Please." Hug. "Stop?" I hugged him once more for good measure then stoped.

"See what you get when you ask nicely, Milord?" I asked. Then I walked quickly away.

Once again I'm getting ready for my nightly annoyance being. This one will be fun.


End file.
